Hangups
by SilentG
Summary: PROMISED OUT-TAKE UP. Goren and Eames both have hang-ups & insecurities that interfere with their intimacy. Racy story with a very happy ending! This fic is very, very "M". I really mean it! Please read with caution. B/A.
1. CALLING OCCUPANTS

**Author:** SilentG  
**Title:** Hang-ups  
**Fandom:** LO:CI  
**Pairing:** B/A  
**Rating:** M, very  
**Spoilers:** Definitely, see individual chapter A/Ns.  
**Archive:** Anywhere – no need to ask – just attribute, and let me know if possible  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine  
**Summary:** They finally took a risk, took the plunge, and they're very happy… sort of.

**A/N 1:** This is a dark fic with very adult situations. Please don't read unless you feel comfortable with frank discussions and descriptions of sexuality. It's a bit angsty, a bit rough around the edges (literally and figuratively), but it will have a happy ending. Please, please take the warning seriously. Chapter spoilers for: "Lady's Man" (Season 8)

_____

**CHAPTER ONE: CALLING OCCUPANTS**

"…_and now you're totally nude, and I'm standing over you on the bed, stroking myself through my bra and panties. I shake my head and shoulders, making my hair sway and my chest bounce, then slowly slip my bra straps down and unclasp the front, and you get your first glimpse of my firm breasts and hard nipples. I stand on one leg and caress your chest and you cock and balls with my foot – I'm wearing coral toenail polish – and then I slowly slide down my panties. You can see how wet and swollen I am, and you're tired of being teased. You grab my underwear and yank it the rest of the way down, then you take me by the hips and pull me down on top of you, then you roll me over and start fucking me hard into the mattress. You're pounding me so hard I think you'll break the bed, and all the while you're whispering filthy things into my ear, how hot I make you, how you want to fuck me so hard I split in two, how you want to cum in my mouth. Then when I'm gasping with pleasure, almost crying, you pull out and sit on top of me, and you hold my head and fuck my mouth until you cum." _

_Robert Goren gasped and grunted softly as he ejaculated into the Kleenex he held in his hand. He was lying in bed, phone propped against one shoulder, so he could cup and squeeze his balls while he stroked himself._

"_You still there, Robert?"_

"_Yeah, sorry, should I hang up?" He felt incredibly relaxed and a bit self-conscious._

"_No, but most guys do, once they finish."_

"_I can go if you like?"_

_She laughed. "No, it's really fine. I don't mind talking, or whatever, for a bit."_

_Silence held sway for a few long seconds._

"_That was…really hot."_

_She laughed again, a gentle, distant sound. "Thank you. I'm glad it worked out. Next time you call, tell the girl what you want and it'll be more personal."_

"_Can I ask for you?"_

"_If you like. I'm on most nights from 6pm Central."_

**---**

"_Hi Sweetie, what would you like tonight?"_

"_Um hi, it's me again… um, Robert."_

"_Hello Robert. Did I miss you last night?"_

"_No, I didn't call. I was busy."_

*****

-----------------

*****

"Aaahhhh…" With his head buried between her legs, Bobby felt Alex's almost silent orgasm with a mixture of shame and triumph. Triumph because she came so easily – he always got her there – and she'd never once faked it. Shame because he couldn't get around feeling like he was using her.

He kept licking her and pumping her with his fingers, but her "No Bobby, please no more…" halted him instantly, and he allowed her to pull him up for a kiss. He carefully rolled them over so she was on top of him, but when she started sliding down his body and caressing his erection while she trailed kisses down his torso, he grunted "No," and pulled her up to straddle him. In the almost pitch-black of his bedroom, he grasped her by her tiny waist and gently lowered her, slowly entering her wet heat as she gasped and arched her back, whispering "Bobby, Bobby, Bobby!" They held hands, fingers interlaced, until – sensing that he was close – Alex bent over him to caress his shoulders and chest as she kissed him deeply. Bobby's hands trailed from her knees to her waist, then up her back and down her arms, then he clutched her hips to guide her pace through his climax.

After cleaning up and dressing in his pyjamas – the top half for her, bottoms for him – they held each other close in his cosy bed. " I love you, Alex," was the last thing he said to her, and " I love you too," were her last words to him.

**---**

The next morning, Bobby woke up happy but uneasy, as he had done every morning since they'd become intimate. _Become intimate_ – what a ridiculous notion. They'd been intimate for years. But they'd only been sharing a bed since the Mulrooney case, and been making love for two months.

His need to have a frank conversation with her was becoming more, rather than less bearable, but he was terrified of what would result. How many ways did she own him? He couldn't even count, but he couldn't afford to lose her in any of them, and the tension that arose from his inner conflict was tearing him apart. He couldn't even imagine bringing it up with her… although he thought she already suspected. He'd hoped that his cravings would just disappear as his unrequited passion for her was fulfilled, but he'd found them unabated; whetted, in fact. There was something about having her tiny, willing body there next to him, so supple and strong and fragile and _his_, that brought out this monstrous… Aaah, he couldn't even think about it, it was too depressing.

_____

**A/N 2:** EEEEEEK! Anyone still with me? I know it's pretty outrageous, but it's going somewhere really, it's NOT just PWP. And it does seem pretty grim, but I see the way to a happy ending for these two if you can hang on for the ride. And BTW, between you, me and the entire universe, the phone-sex parts of this fic are _entirely_ realistic, I can avow, aver, and affirm, and that's the beginning and end of what I'll say on the subject.

And yeah, I know that I'm on a crazy WIP binge, but I'm unemployed right now and need something to distract me from my grinding poverty of pocketbook and human contact. In my defence, "The Sensual World" is mostly written, and "Will they or won't they" is intended to be a 'whenever I feel like writing some' fic. And this one isn't going to be very long.


	2. OPERATOR

**A/N 1:** This chapter is a bit of a break from the gonad-rocking raunch, and hopefully it'll get more confusing for you. Chapter spoilers for: None.

_____

**CHAPTER TWO: OPERATOR**

"_Hi Sweetie, what would you like tonight?"_

"_Um hi, uh, I don't have anything special in mind."_

"_Well, let me start by telling you about myself. I'm –"_

"–_Actually, I'd rather not – at least not right now. I just – I'm pretty easy to please. Just talk to me, I, um, I like the sound of your voice. Do you have, um, a standard…"_

_She interrupted him with a gentle, genuine-sounding laugh. "Vanilla or raunchy?"_

"_Um, vanilla? That means normal?"_

"_I don't use that word, but yeah. You like anything special? Young, threesomes, gay or trannie, unusual settings?"_

"_Nope, just – vanilla."_

"_You a sub?"_

"_A – NO!" She laughed again._

"_OK, perfect. Tell me, Sweetie, where are you in the world?"_

"_New York City."_

"_New York New York! It nice out there?"_

"_Lonely."_

"_And what's your name, Sweetie?"_

"_Robert."_

"_Do you want to know my name? Or is there a name you'd like to call me?"_

"_Um – no."_

"_Aah. Well… you don't want to know my name or what I look like, but do you want to know what I'm wearing?"_

_He sighed and slid his hand into his pyjama bottoms. "Yes please. Only – just tell me the truth, OK? I don't want – I don't like hearing things that aren't true."_

"_I'll try my best…"_

*****

-----------------

*****

Alex Eames sat at her desk staring at her partner. Not looking, not glancing, but _staring_. She couldn't help it – she couldn't take her eyes off him. Since he'd 'got his groove back' a few months ago, his sheer masculinity, coupled with his new, bigger girth and their incipient intimacy, made him pretty much irresistible to her day or night, rain or shine, work or not. And now that she actually knew what he was like, not just imagined, his ability to distract and captivate her had gotten worse, not better.

And he loved her! The dummy that she was, it wasn't until he'd bustled and manhandled her, trembling and teary-eyed, into her car and thence into his apartment and bed after the Mulrooney case that she'd had any inkling as to the depth of his feelings. His 'Alpha Gorilla' antics during and directly after that case had been a little intimidating, more than a little irritating, and deeply arousing to her, but it was only after he'd placed her in his bathroom with a very demure nightgown _that he'd bought her_ and ordered her to shower, then put her into his bed with a glass of warm milk and brandy, then joined her wordlessly, still warm and damp from his own shower and clad in pyjamas, to hold her – protective and undemanding, that she realised what she had. His heart, his love. And she loved him back.

He'd come to her, or she to him, every night after. They'd not discussed romance or sex, but their intimacy progressed from embraces to kisses, then caresses, then to a gentle, passionate union that was a new beginning for them. In between work, their banal, but nevertheless much-desired domesticity, and his sure, deliberate caresses that never failed to take her wherever he led, they exchanged confessions of love and their desire for commitment.

It was amazing – more than she'd ever hoped for. But.

He didn't desire her. This much she knew. The deep passion that he brought to every aspect of his life – including their emotional intimacy – never showed itself in his physical reaction to her. Of course he was able to perform – there was no problem there! But his words and movements were restrained and measured, his body controlled, his mind sometimes distracted. He seemed to take little pleasure in looking at her or caressing her – he acted only for her benefit. He resisted her teasing or caressing him. There was no laughter in their lovemaking, no unrestrained actions of any kind. And they only made love in the dark, with her on top.

She wondered if it was the easy way they slid into intimacy, bypassing romance and seduction, that made her so boring to him. But she didn't think so. She just wasn't his type – never had been.

"Eames, what are you up to tonight?"

"The usual I guess, Bobby. You?"

"Um, I was thinking of dropping out to see Lewis. I guess I'll see you tomorrow, then?"

"Yup, that's the plan." She didn't mind having a night alone, and she liked the way Bobby was light and breezy about it. He'd drop by later if he changed his mind, which would be OK too.

**---**

Bobby lay on his sofa in jeans and a long-sleeved tee, toying with the idea of grabbing his car keys and hopping over to see Alex. It wasn't that he didn't want to see her – he _wanted_ to see her every minute of every day – but he needed a break from the pretense. Just thinking that thought made him fairly cringe with shame, but there it was. He could feel the facts and realities surging up in his sub-conscious, and he knew he couldn't forestall it forever; but he could do it for one more night. He reached for the phone.

*****

-----------------

*****

"_Your turn," she said with that laugh._

"_What?"_

"_Tonight, you tell me what you want. You don't have to go into detail, just give me an outline. And I'll turn it into something special for you, I promise."_

_There was a long silence on the line, then…_

"_Are you going to do this, Robert?"_

"_Uh, I – I've never – I don't even know if…"_

"_Whatever it is, it's OK, Robert. Believe me, I've heard it all."_

_He told her, stammering nervously. When he finished, she was quiet a long time. Then…_

"_Okay. But why handcuffs?"_

"_They're, um, they're what's handy."_

"_Uh, OK," she laughed, a bit thinly he thought, "But you know they chafe, right? And they're a bitch to unfasten after."_

_He cringed in embarrassment and remorse. "No, actually, but I should. I'm sorry, this was a bad idea. You can just–"_

"_So how about nice soft velveteen ties, instead? I assume you can tie a quick-release knot?"_

**---**

"…_and then, while I'm laughing so hard I can't see for the tears in my eyes, you slip my wrists into the velvet ties at the head of the bed."_

_Robert Goren closed his eyes and tried not to pant too hard into the phone. The image of her, writhing and screaming with laughter and his captive to do what he wanted with, had him harder and more aroused than he'd ever been in his whole life. He couldn't even touch the head of his penis, he was that close. He squeezed the shaft with one hand and his sac with the other, and tried to keep from ending it all with one quick twist of his fingers._

"…_and I'm still laughing so hard I can barely get the words out to order you to let me go, and I'm trying to knee you, but you just kneel under my bottom and hold my legs. And I'm so wet that my pussy is just gliding back and forth on your belly, and with my arms over my head, my breasts are thrust out and begging you to touch them. You lean down to kiss me hard, while you squeeze and knead my breasts. Then you lean back and put my legs over your shoulders, and you begin to lick and suck my pussy. I'm so close, I cum with just a few swipes of your tongue, and then I think you're going to release me. But you just keep licking me, and stroke your fingers in and out of me, and I'm begging you to stop – I've never cum twice, I can't stand the sensations. But you just ignore me and I can feel the pressure building, I'm so much more sensitive, and when I cum again I can't help screaming and I spray all over your face. I'm actually crying, it feels so good, and before I know it you've untied me and you're buried deep inside me. You're grinding your hips into me, and you have all your weight on me, and I'm hugging and kissing and biting and scratching every inch of you that I can reach. We're both sweating, and crying, and when you cum in me with a groan, we both collapse._

_Robert did cum with a groan, without even touching himself, the moment she said in that sweet, sexy voice that she cried after she climaxed the second time. He listened with tears in his eyes to her telingl him the rest of his fantasy._

*****

-----------------

*****

"I missed you tonight, Bobby."

"I missed you, too."

"You sound sleepy."

"I'm very relaxed. I love you."

"I love you too. Night."

_____

**A/N 2:** No spoilers for this chappie, but there is one very oblique reference and some big hints. Anyone who guesses right gets either a limerick or a senryu.


	3. CALL ME

**A/N 1:** Eeeep, readers are in agony over this fic! All I'll say is, I'm glad you're confused, but actually all the hints are in the fic, if you know Canon and read carefully. Just keep in mind that I promised a happy ending, and unlike some authors, I don't play with my readers when it comes to happy endings, so a fic labelled B/A with a happy ending means _both of them happy and together at the end. _Yes, I'm familiar with aspects of what one might call 'vice', but that doesn't mean I'm using the term 'happy ending' in _that_ way, lol. Chapter spoilers for: None.

_____

**CHAPTER THREE: CALL ME**

"…_do you have a boyfriend, or a husband?"_

"_Yes, I do."_

"_Does he know – what you do?"_

"_Yes."_

"_And he's OK with it?"_

"_Actually, it turns him on."_

*****

-----------------

*****

"Goren, Eames, in my office." It was Friday afternoon. Goren sighed and followed his tight-lipped partner into Ross's office.

"I need a Major Case detective to go to Pittsburgh to check out a cold case they're sitting on. Eames, you're up." He slapped a file onto the corner of his desk; Eames picked it up and thumbed through it, with Goren leaning over her shoulder.

"OK, Captain," she said, nodding thoughtfully. "I guess you're chasing the Simonson family alibis on your own, Goren," she said, turning to her partner.

"How long will this take, Captain?" Goren asked Ross with a frown.

"Four or five days. Eames, you leave Sunday night."

"Sure, Captain," Eames nodded, taking the itinerary Ross handed her.

"Uh…" Goren muttered…

"Good, so we're all set. Have a good weekend, you two," Ross said, and hustled them out of his office.

**---**

"Bobby, I was going to go see my family tonight, and stay til Sunday," Alex said without preamble as they marched out of 1PP that evening. Her face was cool and closed, and Bobby wondered if she was hiding disappointment or relief.

"So will I get so see you at all before you go?"

"I hope so," she said, and Bobby found himself buoyed by the sincerity in her voice. "Maybe I could drop by your place on Sunday on my way in? Will you be around?"

Goren nodded, and they parted.

*****

-----------------

*****

"_Do you have another fantasy for me?" Bobby whispered into the phone as he got comfortable on his sofa._

_She laughed her little, soft, ironic laugh. "You're lucky you caught me tonight; I didn't think I'd be on."_

"_Well, whoever's loss is my gain; my girlfriend's out of town this week, and I really need this."_

"_You don't need an excuse to call me, Sweetie, every man deserves to be satisfied in just the way he likes." There was silence on the line as Bobby frowned. "You disagree, Robert?"_

"_I, uh – I think what some people need to be satisfied isn't – isn't right."_

"_Aah… well, that's what the phone is for, isn't it? You can have exactly what you want, with nothing you don't want, and nobody gets hurt. But I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, Robert. Are you ready?"_

"_Yes," he whispered, "And please – call me Bobby."_

*****

-----------------

*****

Alex was tired and Bobby cranky when she showed up at his apartment on Sunday morning. "I don't have much time or energy, Bobby," she said plaintively as he led her wordlessly to the bedroom.

"You don't have to do anything, just enjoy," he whispered. As his hands and mouth marked the now-familiar pattern across her willing body, he wondered if denying himself was a form of atonement, for his single-minded need to pet her into submission, to coax pleasure and satisfaction from her body no matter what her mood, to revel in her simple, honest responses. It was the only way he would allow himself to exert power over her, and even that shamed him. The throbbing hardness that would have to wait til after they parted would be the penalty he paid.

**---**

"I – I'll miss you, Bobby," Alex whispered in his ear. Her coat was over her arm and she was on her way home to grab her bag before heading to the airport.

"Me too," he said into the top of her head. He was holding her tight and he didn't want to let her go.

"Bobby," she said, pulling back and looking seriously up at him. " This is the first time we've been apart for so long since – we started seeing each other." Bobby nodded and looked quizzically at her. "I thought…" she touched his chest and spoke into his shirt pocket, "This might be a time for us to reflect on some of the things – things we haven't really talked about yet," she finished with a nervous swallow.

Bobby was filled with a mixture of anxiety and relief. This was exactly what he'd been hoping for. But what did Alex want to say? Surely nothing as serious as what he wanted to say to her. Did she realise this could be a turning point for them? "OK, sounds good," he said. "So you'll call me?"

"Count on it," she said, kissed him firmly but swiftly, and left.

*****

-----------------

*****

"_So your – your stories that you use… are any of them – your own fantasies?"_

"_Mine? Yes, of course. Why?"_

"_Can I hear one?"_

"_Certainly." He could hear the smile in her voice, and it made him happy._

"_Well… in my fantasy, I'd meet you at the door in the early evening, my apartment lit with candles and filled with flowers. I'd be wearing something sexy – is there anything particular you like?"_

"_Oh, I don't care – it's the package I'm interested in, not the wrapping."_

"_Humour me."_

"_Well… something, um – black lace. Short, but not – I mean, see-through, but not too…"_

"_A black lace babydoll, see-through but not too racy?"_

"_Yes, exactly. With matching panties. And bare feet."_

_She laughed. "Sounds like you know exactly what you like," she said._

"_I can picture it," he whispered._

"_Well, picture this," she said. "This is my fantasy, right?"_

"_Yes, whatever you want."_

"_Well what I want is to kiss you, but if I'm barefoot, you'll have to pick me up, because I'm really little."_

"_I can do that."_

"_Okay then, with my tongue down your throat, and my legs wrapped around your waist, you carry me into my bedroom."_

_Bobby groaned at the image and shifted his weight on the sofa. He was just lightly stroking the head of his penis with the tips of his fingers, glossing the copious pre-cum everywhere he touched._

"_In my bedroom I have candles, flowers, champagne and massage oil. You put me down and I begin to undress you, kissing your mouth and every part of your body that I expose. When you're naked, you lie face down on the bed, and I pour oil all over you and begin to stroke your skin and knead your muscles. While I'm rubbing you down, I lean down to taste your skin, and nip and trail my tongue all over you. I dig my elbows into the tough knots, and your body gets relaxed and rosy. When I've worked you from shoulders to toes from the back, you flip over and I kiss you deeply, then I begin to massage your front. I start at your feet and work up, but I avoid the part I most want to touch – that's for later. I dig the heels of my hands into your shoulders, and I massage your long fingers, then I move up above your head and put your head at the top of my thighs, with your arms draped over my spread legs, so that I can work on your neck and your head."_

_Bobby groaned at the image of him surrounded by her, nestled between her thighs, with his throbbing erection waiting to pleasure her. "What about me? What am I doing?"_

"_Nothing."_

"_I don't think – no, I KNOW that I couldn't stop from touching you."_

"_Well you'd have to – it's my fantasy."_

_Bobby groaned again, and she laughed._

"_Then, when I've massaged every muscle on your body but one…"_

"_Three, actually," he said without thinking._

"_Okay, THREE, and you're relaxed and glistening in the candlelight, then I kneel next to you on the bed, and begin to kiss you. I move my hot wet mouth over the pulse points on your neck, and I nip and kiss your shoulders and your chest. Then I take your cock in my hand and begin stroking it. I squeeze your balls with one hand and slowly roll my fist over the head of your cock with the other. While I'm touching you, I'm looking you right in the eye and telling you how handsome and sexy you are, and how much I'm going to enjoy taking you in my mouth and sucking you until you cum. Then I do start to suck you, playing with your balls while I ride your cock with my mouth, and when you ejaculate I drink it all down, until you're completely spent. Then–"_

"_Wait a second," Bobby interrupted, "You don't climax in your fantasy?"_

"_In my fantasy, I kiss and lick and touch you all over and you love it."_

_Bobby groaned again, and stilled his caresses of his own organ to keep from climaxing at her sweet, sexy words._

"_But we're not finished, so if you want to do me later, you can," she said with a giggle. "In the meantime, we lie together and drink the champagne, and chat while we hold and touch each other. Then when the champagne's finished, you start to toy with the hem of my slip, and slide your fingers inside my panties to touch me. You roll on top of me and kiss me hard, and then you kiss and bite my neck and my shoulders."_

"_Bite?"_

"_Yes. I want you to bite me."_

"_Aaaah, Christ, OK."_

"_And you're starting to get hard again. You reach up and slide my panties off, and – you can lick me if you like?"_

"_Yes, please."_

"_Okay, Tiger," she giggled again. 'And when I'm done cumming all over your face–" Bobby made a sound of disapproval at her glossing over the best part._

"_What? This is MY fantasy!" she laughed gleefully. "So, you grab me and carry me over to the corner, and you hoist me up and fuck my brains out against the wall. We're going at it so hard, the pictures are rattling on the walls. My ass is slapping against the wallpaper, and I'm so happy I can't stop laughing. While you're pounding me, I keep telling you how good you feel so deep inside me, how I want you to fuck me harder, and you growl into the crook of my neck. When you cum you stick your tongue deep in my mouth, and then you carry me back to bed."_

_There was a long silence on the line, as Bobby panted silently while he came down from his explosive orgasm. "Well?" she finally said timidly._

"_That was – amazing, but…"_

"_But what?"_

"_But I'm surprised you want it so – rough…"_

"_Sometimes. I guess you learned something new about me." Bobby laughed._

"_I'm – I'm not as young as I used to be."_

"_What, you don't think you could hold me up? I'm not very big."_

"_Oh I could hold you up, no doubt about that."_

"_But…? Are you saying you're too old to give me what I want? Because what I want is to drink your cum, then be fucked up against the wall."_

"_If that's what you want, sweetheart, then I'll figure out a way to give it to you."_

_____

**A/N 2: **Only a couple of chapters left, my dears. The lingerie Bobby's fantasy girl had in mind is at Victoria's Secret, it's the embroidered eyelet lace babydoll in black (pictured in white in the catalogue).


	4. PENNSYLVANIA 6 5000

**A/N 1:** So some reviewers have said they think they've figured it out. That's good! I'd wanted to throw my loyal readers a bit of a bone after the agony of chapter 2. Also, I personally hate surprises, so I always think giving people something to look forward to is nice. Kudos to those who figured it out, although there seem to still be people in the dark, heh heh. And only "likeit" caught the reference – I'll spill it at the end of the fic. Her Senryu is at the bottom. Chapter spoilers for: None.

_____

**CHAPTER FOUR: PENNSYLVANIA 6-5000**

"_Does your girlfriend suck your cock?"_

_Bobby shivered with guilty pleasure at her dirty mouth. "No."_

"_No? You go down on her, right?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Then she should! Has she ever tried?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_And?"_

"_I don't – I don't let her."_

"_Oh… a control freak."_

"_No!" Bobby sat up, aghast at her suggestion. "I just – don't want her to do anything she doesn't want to do."_

"_Oooooooohhhh…" Her reply, then the oppressive silence after, was full of recriminations._

"_Oh what??"_

"_You have a whore/Madonna complex."_

"_I DO NOT!"_

"_Well what, then?"_

*****

-----------------

*****

After Alex left, Bobby sat thinking about a lot of things. Well one thing, Alex. Would he still have a girlfriend when she got back? Would she still want him when she knew what he was really like? _Who_ he was really like?

He remembered the first night they spent together, after Mulrooney. His Eames was so strong, but she'd felt so tiny and fragile in his arms. He'd wanted her to feel loved and cherished – in control, as she had not been during that case, and as was so important to her. Never used, never taken for granted. Never overwhelmed by her big, bulky partner with his heavy body and… abnormal desires.

The irony was that he _was_ using her – using her to feed his need to control. He was addicted the satisfaction he got from pleasuring her, coaxing and stroking her out of her moods and out of her mind. His one comfort was the fact that he never lost his head with her, never gave in to the cravings that had sprung up the first time he held her, in their chaste bed clothes and loving embrace; desires he couldn't understand, couldn't understand feeling for his tiny, delicate, precious partner.

She was the only woman – perhaps the only _person_ – who'd never been afraid of him. At least, he'd never seen it, and he was an expert at seeing it. She'd been afraid _for_ him, but never _of_ him. Would that still be true the next time she saw him? Would she be uneasy? Pretending? Acting the way she thought he wanted, because she was afraid of the alternative?

All his lovers had been afraid of him, even while they revelled in his size and strength. Tall, strong women – well matched to him physically. He'd never had any desire to torment or dominate them, content to please and to share pleasure. They'd been loving, giving women for the most part – it hadn't been their fault that they'd been unable to really know him; dazzled by the things that they saw, the things they wanted. Driven, sometimes, to take actions – playing coquettish vixens, pretending pleasure – because they wanted so badly to be what they thought _he_ wanted.

Dismayed, eventually, when they saw the complexity, the intensity, the inscrutability, the fragility, that was really there. Afraid, when they saw how unpredictable he was.

But not unpredictable, to Eames.

The thought that Eames might join them anyway filled his heart with hurt.

**---**

Hours after she'd left, when Goren put on his jacket to go pick up some dinner, he found a cell phone wrapped in a letter, in his pocket.

**Dear Bobby:**

**I'm going to start this letter by saying that I love you, so much, and I want above all for things to work out between us. I've been so happy with you – happier than I can recall being in decades, maybe ever. I feel, though, as if there's a black hole between us – someplace where things go in but never come out – it has to do with our sex life. Do you feel it? If everything is OK at your end then I guess I'm crazy, but I don't think so. I think it's just weird that we've never talked about it. Or maybe not weird, since we both want so badly for this to work.**

**I propose that we play a game – for **_**fun**_**, but also to get to know each other better. **

**So I'm giving you this phone, and I have one just like it. I want to talk to you while I'm away – **_**really talk**_**. Please don't think of the woman at the other end of the line as your little, chippy, snappish partner; think of her as the woman who would do **_**anything**_** to please you, the woman who wants to know **_**exactly**_** what you like, the woman you can say anything to.**

**I can't change my height, or the size of my bum, but I will do anything within my power to be what you want, to be enough for you.**

**I love you SO MUCH,**

**Alex.**

Her words filled him with excitement and dread. Did she know what she was getting into? He didn't know if he had the courage to make her see.

*****

-----------------

*****

"_Well?"_

_Bobby wanted to just keep playing, letting her tell him her fantasies, but that wasn't what needed to be said._

"_No, I don't have a whore/Madonna complex."_

_There was silence on the line for what seemed like an age._

"_Then why won't you let your girlfriend please you? Why won't you tell her what you want? Why won't you let her touch you?"_

_There was a drawn breath at the other end of the phone, as if she'd almost said something but stopped herself._

"_What?"_

"_Nothing."_

"_TELL ME." The force of his words surprised him, almost frightened him, but he beat those feelings back._

"_Because… she might think – that you don't bother letting her try, because you know she can't."_

"_Can't what?"_

"_Please you. Satisfy you."_

"_WHAT?"_

"_She might think you already know she'd be making a fool of herself trying to tease or tempt you, or arouse you."_

"_Oh Christ, I – no, no no! That's – Aah…" He had to take a moment to compose himself, her words had upset him that much. Did she really think that? How could she think that? She was the most– She was so– He'd never–_

_He swallowed hard. "Listen. To. Me. I have never felt more passionate, more aroused, or more satisfied, than I have with her. It's – it's something else, not that. Never that."_

"_What, then?"_

"_I've been – I don't want to talk about this."_

"_Please?"_

"_I've been – with – women – in the past – who did things, things they didn't really want to do, because they thought it was expected of them. They saw me a certain way, and thought the woman that man was with should behave – a certain way. I don't ever want… her… to do anything she doesn't want to for herself."_

"_You don't trust her to do that?"_

"_I don't trust myself."_

*****

-----------------

*****

Eames hefted her overnight bag onto the luggage caddy to unpack her things. She hadn't put a time in her note, but she thought Bobby probably wouldn't call until after dinner. Which was five long hours away… five hours to fuss and worry and wonder if she was doing the right thing and what he would say.

It wasn't that she was a masochist (not that she expected him to be callous with her). She was a realist, and she _knew_ that Bobby was capable of true, uninhibited passion in bed. If she really didn't do it for him, she wanted to know exactly _why_, and _how,_ so maybe it could be fixed. If he'd been that way with other women in his life (which surely he had), maybe they could find that spark together, with work. One thing Eames was good at, was working hard for something. And she was willing to work _very_ hard when it came to her relationship with Bobby. When he called, she would be as neutral and impersonal as possible, and try to figure out how to access his sexuality.

*****

-----------------

*****

"_You don't trust yourself? What does that mean?"_

"_Aah… it's complicated," he whispered._

_The silence drew out across the line, then, "I bet it isn't."_

_When he didn't reply, she continued. "Are you going to make me go fishing for what you are afraid to say? Because I'm quite good at that."_

_He laughed in spite of himself. "I'm just afraid. Of what you'll think. Of me."_

"_I told you before, I've heard it all."_

"_That doesn't help."_

_She sighed. "Are you comfortable?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Are you–"_

"_No."_

"_But – you were, before? On other calls?"_

"_Oh yes, you have no idea."_

"_When we were talking before, when I was telling you my fantasies, who did you imagine was there with you?"_

"_A- my girlfriend."_

"_So when you imagined pounding a girl into the wall, that was her?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Biting her and whispering filthy things in her ear, that was her too?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Cumming in her mouth?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Did thinking about those things turn you on?"_

"_Yes!"_

"_With her?"_

"_Yes!!"_

"_Would you ever want to do those things with her for real?"_

"_Yes…"_

"_But you never have."_

"_No."_

"_Because you were afraid?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Of – hurting her? Scaring her?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Because she's so little? Smaller than the women you're used to?"_

"_Partly. But mostly because – I love her so. I don't want her to be afraid of me."_

"_That's never going to happen."_

**---**

"_And when it was your fantasy, that was her?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Tied to the bed, helpless, while you tickled her until she screamed and pleasuring her even when she begged you to stop?"_

_Bobby covered his mouth and winced. Said baldly like that, it made him feel like the biggest jerk in the world. A monster. She must hate him!_

"_Yes."_

_She made an angry, impatient sound into the phone. "Bobby! There's a simple way around that – a safe word, for crying out loud. Geez, what are we, Bonobo chimps? There's this thing called talking, that's how couples figure stuff like that out." She sighed, then said sheepishly, "I'm sorry. Channelling someone. The personality of some snarky city girl with a high-pressure job, maybe."_

_The break in the tension made them both laugh, and Bobby felt a tiny bit of relief and hope._

"_Anyways, about that safe word. Why not pick it now? It doesn't mean a permanent kink in your sex life – but it'll give you the security of knowing that you can trust your instincts with her, and trust that things won't go too far."_

"_OK…"_

"_What about the name of a co-worker; one that would be both a buzz-kill and unlikely to come up in normal conversation?"_

"_Aaah… Well, let me think of people my girlfriend and I both know… Deakins? No, too weird. Logan, Bishop? Never want to think of either of them in the bedroom. Barek? Homonym. Nichols? Nope, if she ever had a boyfriend on the side named Nicholas it would be too confusing. Ross? No way!"_

"_Any others?"_

"_Well, Carver, but no, I'm not using that name. My girlfriend had a thing with him."_

"_How did you… Ah, um, well, I'm sure it was a long time ago and when he was separated from his wife."_

"_Yup, it was."_

"_Aw Geez."_

**---**

"_So when you see your girlfriend next, you're going to be more free, more open? You're going to give and receive pleasure without worrying so much?"_

_His silence spoke volumes._

"_Bobby? You're still afraid of something?"_

"_I just think… that she might not like being tied up. She might not like that I'd even think of it."_

"_Oooooohhhhhh. Why would that be? Did she have a – a bad experience with something like that?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_And you don't think that maybe, when – if – she got counselling, someone might have suggested that she re-train herself by having experiences with some similar elements, but with pleasure, rather than pain?"_

"_Really?"_

"_I don't know, you tell me."_

"_Aah, wow…"_

"_At the very least, I bet she'd be willing to try. If not that exact thing, then something like it. I bet… that she'd love being tickled until she screamed."_

"_Really?" he whispered._

"_Yup."_

"_And I bet that she'd love to be dominated, weighed down, or immobilised, by your strong body. I bet she'd feel sexy, and safe, and loved, and not scared at all."_

"_Even if…" he was so choked with emotion he couldn't continue. This was IT, the thing he was most afraid of. He really didn't feel like he could ever even say the words, but – he didn't have to._

"_What? Even if… if there was someone they both knew, who had used his strength to hurt rather than to show love?"_

"_Yes," he whispered, tears running down his face._

"_That man has nothing to do with you, Bobby," she whispered fervently. "You will NEVER be like that, no matter how many ways you tie me up or how hard you fuck me. I TRUST YOU. Because you're trustworthy. Please believe me. I want to show you how much I trust you – how very much I want you. Would you let me?"_

"_Oh… Alex," he said, "I want to see you so badly… when are you coming home?"_

"_I'm home now, Bobby," she whispered, "I want to see you too, so much. Please come over?"_

_____

**A/N 2: **Um yeah, it was her all the time. Sorry I didn't tell y'all that the italicised parts were out of time order, but that would have given the whole thing away, lol. After chapter 2, a few people said they'd got it, and a couple of people mentioned the correct conclusion in their reviews and PMs, so pat yourselves on the back! Below is a poem written for 'likeit', who guessed the correct hint from chapter 2 in a PM. And isn't it convenient that Eames happened to go to Pittsburgh, when that famous song "_Pennsylvania 6-5000_" was a perfect phone-related song to use as a title! Thanks, Captain Ross!

One more chapter of story, then a final chapter with out-takes.

_____

likeit's Senryu:

Touching hearts across  
Two lifetimes of angst. He said  
She said their lodestar


	5. BRACE YOURSELF, BRIDGET

**A/N 1: **This has been my most popular LO:CI story, and I'm so surprised! Partly because so many authors seem to think that rating their fics "M" (IMO a lot of fics are rated T that really should be M, but that's just my opinion) is the equivalent of sending them to the Doldrums (which is actually the name of locations in the Equatorial oceans with notoriously poor and unpredictable tradewinds). But I've had more reviews, better reviews, and more PMs about this fic than any other I've posted in the fandom! Also, 'Lexi Lynne' also guessed the hint; her poem (and the 411 on the episode I was referring to) is at the bottom of this chappie. BTW a non-phone song title, since they're not talking on the phone, tee hee! Chapter spoilers for: 'Lady's Man' (Season 8). BTW re: Eames's place, she was confirmed in Season 8 to have moved to an apartment. I checked her new address in Google Maps and Google Earth, and there are low-rises in the neighbourhood. She lives in #11, and so I put her on the third floor of a three-storey building with four suites per floor.

_____

**CHAPTER FIVE: BRACE YOURSELF, BRIDGET**

Bobby made it over to Alex's place in record time. As he crossed the street heading towards her building, he glanced reflexively up at her third-floor suite in the spacious low-rise she'd recently moved to. His body, already coursing with arousal, clenched at the sight of the flickering candlelight from her windows. What was awaiting him in those dimly-lit rooms? He literally couldn't wait to find out.

He let himself into the building with his key, and when he knocked on her door, it creaked open on its own. Stepping into her cosy apartment, he took in the tea lights and smell of flowers, then the sight of Alex walking serenely towards him. He actually whimpered at his first look at her, dressed in a demure but very sexy black babydoll, transparent enough to show her glowing skin in the candlelight, as well as the tiny bikini panties that covered her womanhood. He couldn't resist a glance down at her feet – pale pink nail polish. Her expression of absolute trust and love faded to uncertainty as she hesitated a few feet in front of him.

Bobby crossed his arms and regarded her speculatively. "Turn around," he commanded, circling his finger to demonstrate. Alex looked momentarily nonplussed, then resolutely twirled. He leaned back against the door and smirked. "You dressed for me, Alex. Don't you want me to get a good look at you? Again," he wagged his fingers, "Slowly."

Alex's happy smile returned, then she grasped the skirt of her _négligée_ like a dancer and turned seductively around on her tiptoes. Bobby's eyes were drawn to the apex of her thighs, where her panties peeked from below her lifted hem. She slowed after an extra quarter-turn, bending one leg and smiling coquettishly over her shoulder. Bobby let the door support much of his weight as his mind and body surged with desire. The freedom he felt to show his love and passion for her without fear was intoxicating; he almost didn't know where to begin. Tonight would be different from any other night they had ever spent together.

His eyes went back to her covered mound, after raking over her with undisguised lust. "Are you wet for me," he growled. Her face was vulnerable but open when she nodded jerkily and whispered, '_yes'._ Abruptly, Bobby held out his arms to her and stepped into the room. Alex launched herself into his arms with a cry, and they were at once wrapped tightly around each other, raining kisses and whispered endearments everywhere they could reach.

**---**

The man she loved had his arms wrapped around her like a vice. His teeth were un-gently nibbling the ropy muscles of her shoulder. Her legs tightly encircled his waist, and Alex felt her eyes prick with tears, she was so happy and relieved.

She didn't know what to expect when Bobby stepped into her apartment. She had hoped that their frank conversations while she was away would result in a breakthrough that would change everything for the better, but the practical part of her thought that probably wasn't possible. Furthermore, despite his gushing words of lust and admiration, she felt her former doubts about her desirability rising in conjunction with the panic that she'd gone way overboard with her preparations for the evening. The thought that he might ignore her efforts – or worse, be embarrassed by them – made her cringe with anguish.

All that washed away – or rather went up like flash paper – with the smouldering look Bobby gave her from the door that stole her breath and made her tremble. She had never been so happy for her Mound of Venus to be the centre of a man's attention. His eagerness and obvious desire for her made her feel sexy and wanted, and while she was a bit intimidated by his assertive mien, the fact that he cared enough to tell her what to do made her heart pound and her wet panties even slipperier.

Now, in his arms, she felt a sense of homecoming unlike any she'd felt with him – or anyone for that matter. This was _right_. Finally. His crushing embrace, hot, strong body, and feverish murmurs of, '…_love you_', '_…so hard for you_', '_…taste fantastic_' made her whine and squirm with unfulfilled desire. While he blindly shuffled them towards her bedroom, she rubbed her breasts back and forth across his chest, and slid her tongue around, then into his ear, making him groan into her neck and grind his hips against her centre. Her body, languid with arousal, nevertheless coursed with feminine power and energy. "Are you going to give me what I want tonight, Goren," she whispered assuredly.

"Tonight, we'll both get what we want," was his reply.

**---**

Alex's bedroom door opened to reveal more candles, champagne, and yes, massage oil. Bobby quirked an eyebrow at her and said, "You don't really expect me to have the patience for that tonight, do you?"

She chortled and said with a conspiratory grin, "No, but maybe tomorrow…" Their shared levity buoyed them, and as Bobby stood holding her at the foot of her bed, they regarded each other with quiet joy. They both leaned in at the same time, and finally their mouths met in a gentle, passionate kiss that seemed to have no end. Bobby looked at her with sleepy eyes, watching her gaze openly at him as their lips caressed each other softly, as their tongues touched and breath mingled, at once soothing and stoking their passion for each other. With a smack Bobby ended their kiss and jiggled her up and down in his arms. "Ankles aweigh, Alex," he said, tickling the backs of her knees to make her loosen her legs, and her irrepressible giggles turned to a full belly laugh as he flung her bodily onto her king-sized bed. And with that, laughter entered their lovemaking, never to depart.

**---**

Alex lay back on her big bed, eyes on him, restlessly shifting her hips and wiggling her toes as he strutted around her bedroom, alternately fussing with the accoutrements of their evening and fixing her with a heated gaze. "It's nothing you haven't seen before, Bobby," she said shyly, mouth twitching a little at the double meaning.

"You went to a lot of trouble here, Alex," he said warmly, "I – want to – appreciate it." _Appreciate you_, was the unspoken coda. He'd been in her bedroom many times in the past few months, but tonight felt new and uncharted; sensual, magical and full of promise. As he discarded his shoes and belt, he asked, "Should I put out the candles in the front room?"

"Nope, they're fine," she said, crooking her finger at him meaningfully. Her sexy mannerisms were captivating in their artlessness, giving expression to, rather than concealing, her true feelings. He grinned and approached her, grabbing her feet and tickling them as she teased them over his body, looking down and asking, "Coral?" She threw back her head and laughed again, holding her arms out to him as he had earlier, and Bobby didn't hesitate to crawl hastily up onto the bed, lifting her by her waist and depositing her higher, so he could kiss his way up her body without his legs hanging off the end.

Her joyful, feminine responses to his new physicality pleased him, and he settled his full weight on her with relish, grinding his hips into hers and nipping her throat and shoulders. "Is this OK, Alex?" he asked.

"Yessss," she hissed, hooking her calves around his thighs and planting feverish kisses on the side of his face.

"Because," he continued, "You know I weigh almost 300 pounds, right?"

"I'll let you know if I can't feel my feet," she panted into his ear.

**---**

He was bearing down on her, his hands all over her, sinking his teeth into the soft flesh of her throat and shoulders, and it was _perfect_. Alex's whole body thrummed with anticipation of what was to come; she tried to urge him on with coos and urgent caresses. "Bobby," she whispered, "Sit up, let's get these off you." She plucked ineffectually at his clothes. He sat up, but when she reached to help undress him, he grabbed her wrists and gently held them in one hand.

"I'm more interested in this," he said, stroking her _négligée_ thoughtfully. "It seems… delicate."

"It's not," she informed him. "Built for fun. Plus, I bought a suitcase full when I was away." She grinned back at him when he smiled at her. Then in a trice, he flipped her over and started loosening the straps. "That's not how it comes off, Bobby," she shrieked, squirming.

"I know," he laughed, "That's not what I'm doing." He then worked the hem up and began pulling her panties off, lifting her hips up and playfully biting her ass cheeks. He chuckled and blew impudently along her ass crack when she screamed. "What? I thought you wanted me to bite you?"

"Not… on… my… bum… you… ass…" She gasped, trying desperately to wriggle out of his arms. She was laughing so hard tears were coming out of the corners of her eyes. Bobby couldn't help but laugh with her. But when he started tickling her waist she screamed in earnest. "Bobby, Bobby, I'm gonna pee! Carver, Carver!"

"Hey, I never approved that," he said in mock dismay as he helped her up. They were both grinning like idiots. "Go pee, I'm gonna blow out the candles in the living room." He kissed her twice, hard, and smacked her on the bum as she marched away, smiling at her fading giggles.

**---**

When Bobby returned, Alex was still smiling, but her expression was sultry and predatory. She'd discarded the babydoll and was bare except for her panties. She wordlessly took his hand and guided him to the foot of the bed. "Sit," she commanded, then stood between his legs and cupped his face tenderly. "I love you so much, Bobby," she murmured, while he caressed her waist and kissed her breasts, "And I'm so happy to be here with you like this. _Thank you_." She began to kiss his face and his mouth. "May I undress you," she whispered as he toyed with the waistband of her panties, slipping his fingers behind the silken scraps to feel her wet, swollen flesh.

Bobby suddenly felt shy and nervous, much moreso than their first time together. "Yes," he whispered, looking wistfully up at her. She was a picture of cute concentration, fumbling with his buttons and cuffs, and he felt a sudden irresistible craving to watch her come apart at his hand. He began stroking her in earnest, the lightest rhythmic caresses with only the tips of his fingers, and by the time she'd managed to get his shirt fully unfastened and out of his trousers, she was writhing and trembling and holding on to his shoulders for support. They stared, mesmerised, at each other while she climaxed with only a few moans and whimpers, then he held her gently but firmly when she collapsed in his arms. "So, you're quiet the first time, let's see if you make noise the second," he murmured as he carried her to bed. _Or third_, he thought.

He made quick work of his trousers and boxers, and knelt between her legs, purposefully sliding her panties off. Alex regarded him with a mixture of curiosity, apprehension and lust as he settled between her thighs and began to lick her swollen folds. A guttural groan escaped her, much to Bobby's delight, and when he began to flutter the tip of his tongue over her clit, she came with a keening wail. "That's more like it," he grunted, continuing to lave her with probing strokes.

"No no no, Bobby," she moaned, pushing at his head ineffectually. He ignored her, focusing his rhythmic assault on her abused clit, pinioning her legs beneath his big shoulders when she tried to wriggle away. Soon, she was thrashing and mumbling and clutching the bedding and his hair, every intake of breath a gasp, every exhalation a whine. She continued to babble '_…no', '…Bobby', '…can't'_, but when he pulled away and released her, she squeaked and reached for him in desperation. "What are you _doing_," she all but wailed. He laughed and _pounced_.

**---**

Bobby bore down on her and locked his mouth to hers in a searing kiss. She looped her legs around his in anticipation, but instead of entering her, he began to stroke her clit with the head of his penis. "Aaaaaaahhh," she cried into his mouth, then groaned as he began whispering into her ear as he teased her towards her climax.

"Alex…" he said quietly, owning her with tiny movements of his hips, "Can you feel how wet you are?" She nodded. "There's a wet spot on the duvet and we haven't even fucked yet."

"That was partly you," she whimpered, and he shook his head.

"No, sweetheart, it was all you. You came so much that it trickled down the backs of your legs." She whimpered again. "Did it feel good?" She nodded and mumbled brokenly. "Do you want to cum again?" he asked. She nodded. "You want me to make you cum?" he whispered urgently.

"Yes, please, yes Bobby," she begged, clinging to him weeping. He was overwhelming her in every way, and her brain had as good as shut down. Her entire universe consisted of his voice and the nub that he was caressing so delicately. She tried to rock her hips but he wouldn't have it, holding her in place and controlling the force and rhythm of his strokes. The pressure was unbearable; every muscle in her body was ripped with tension.

"Alex?" he whispered, "I'm going to stroke you until you come apart under me, then I'm going to plunge into you and fuck you harder than you've ever been fucked in your life. I'm going to hold you down and use your body, we'll–" At that instant, his words and caresses were too much for her, and her world exploded one final time in a miasma of lights and colours. Bobby made good on his words, plunging swiftly into her and bringing her back to earth and to him with deep, powerful thrusts. Alex desperately sought his mouth with hers, tonguing him as she held him tightly, muffling her sounds of surprise and delight against his lips.

Their coupling was brief but almost unbearably intense, and soon Bobby spilled himself in her with a deep groan, burying his face in her hair as they both wept for joy.

For some time after, they embraced each other in shared bliss, listening to each other's heartbeats. Then Alex wiggled a little bit and asked Bobby if he was sleepy. He roughly grunted 'no' and she asked him if he wanted to have some champagne. He grabbed the bottle from the chiller, popped it, and they toasted to each other and drank.

Much later, after the champagne was gone and they'd showered and shared a snack, they lay together in bed, Alex stroking his chest and Bobby playing with the hem of her robe. Suddenly Bobby bounced up and rolled on top of her, and murmured, "Round two?"

The end!

_____

**A/N 2:** Thank you so much for treading with me the path of this fic! I have enjoyed so much interacting with all the reviewers and PMers, and hopefully expressing myself well enough to share with you the joy, the pathos, the sensuality, the intimacy and the love that I dream exists between these two great characters.

The specific reference that 'likeit' and 'Lexi Lynne' recognised was from Chapter 2, and it was the 'quick-release knot', which was a plot device in 'Ill-Bred'(Season 3). Other references (not really spoilers) include 'Blind Spot' (Season 6), 'Endgame' (Season 7), and for anyone who wonders, in my LO:CI world, Eames had a fling with Carver – IMO some time during her partnership with Goren but prior to the start of the show. His solicitousness of Eames (including touching her a lot), her relative ease with Carver compared to Goren's, and the way she was sent to speak to him alone on occasion, are my clues. I also thought the impatience and intolerance Carver showed towards Goren (and vice-versa), and the way Goren seemed alternately anxious and overly aggressive around Carver, was not explained sufficiently by the events of the show. In my fantasy world, Carver always fancied another go with Eames, but saw the writing on the wall with Goren, and that's why he left. It had always seemed to me, even before 'Lady's Man', that Eames was the kind of woman who a man would carry a torch for for a long time; it came as no surprise to me when the writers wrote a male character who obsessed over her for years.

_____

Lexi Lynne's limerick:

There once were two New York Detectives,

Who, following Goren's directives,

Uncovered a stud,

Indicted a dud,

Both of whom hurled invectives.


	6. OUTTAKE

**A/N 1: **Chapter spoilers for: 'Lady's Man' (Season 8). Squicky content warning; this is an outtake for a reason!

_____

**CHAPTER SIX: OUT-TAKE**

**A/N 2: **This is aconversation I wrote, but didn't include in the story because it didn't fit. Eames was afraid it was so 'earthy' that it would harsh Goren's buzz, and I was afraid it would do the same for my readers. Yeah, it's that bad. BUT 100% truthful and accurate for the industry. Read with caution (and scatological curiosity). The reason I am posting it rather than trashing it is because I was patting myself on the back for managing a really acerbic Mulrooney reference.

_____

"_Most of the guys I talk to are masochists, cross-dressers or both."_

"_Really? What kind of stuff do they want to talk about?"_

"_You don't want to know."_

"_No, I do, really."_

"_OK, just remember you asked. Don't blame me if it narcs your afterglow."_

"_Deal."_

"_OK then. The more conventional ones want me to force them to dress in my clothes, clean my house, and suck off my old boyfriends, then they want me to stuff a pair of my dirty undies in their mouths, pimp them out to truckers from the back of a van at a gas station, then take pictures of them and post them on the internet."_

_Goren couldn't help but laugh at the image, even while he squirmed in discomfort._

"_You heard enough yet?"_

"_Nah, tell me about the weird ones."_

"_There are no weird men, just weird fantasies, Sweetie." Goren privately disagreed, but kept his opinion to himself._

"_The more out there ones want me to do everything listed above, then sit on their faces and take a dump in their mouths."_

"_Aah, Christ, that is REALLY out there. I couldn't have ever even imagined it."_

"_So that's not you?"_

"_Definitely not."_

"_It would be OK if it was."_

"_No it wouldn't."_

_____

**A/N 3:** Thanks to all my readers for reading, reviewing, guessing, PMing, sticking with this fic to the end, and most notably (although I should probably also be thanking the people who _didn't_ read), for heeding the content warnings! I don't mind flames, but I appreciate the fact that nobody complained about the content.


End file.
